⚡️ Powerful Lessons from "12 Rules For Life" by Jordan Peterson
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This is the third issue of Books In Short, a free weekly newsletter where I share the key insights and ideas from popular non-fiction books.
This week I’m sharing Powerful Lessons from the book “12 Rules For Life” by Jordan Peterson.
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⚡️ Summary
“12 Rules For Life” discusses discipline, responsibility, freedom and adventure.
Peterson argues that happiness is a pointless goal. Instead, we must search for meaning as an antidote to the chaos of our age.
We are constantly searching for happiness without the foundation required to be happy. Peterson believes that this foundation comes from meaning. This meaning must come from within and not from others.
Chaos is compared to Yin and Yang. To keep our lives in perfect balance, we must tackle the inevitable chaos with order.
🧠 Key Ideas
1. Stand Up Straight With Your Shoulders Back
Learn to stand up for yourself. Peterson uses the metaphor of embracing your inner lobster, and explains that studies suggest lobsters who lose their social status through losing fights stop producing serotonin. The lack of serotonin can lead to depression in lobsters. The dominant lobsters also adopted a strong posture, while the other lobsters curled up.
The body and mind are deeply connected. Standing up straight with your shoulders back exerts dominance and confidence. It also shows that you accept responsibility and are willing to take meaningful action.
2. Treat Yourself Like Someone You Are Responsible For Helping
Respect yourself and know that you are worthy of help. You are important to other people, as much as you are to yourself.
When you look after yourself, you’re able to build meaning into your life.
3. Make Friends With People Who Want The Best For You
Your friends have a significant impact on the way you behave. This also means that they can negatively influence you through toxic habits.
But if you surround yourself with people who support your upward aim, they will encourage you when you do good for yourself and others, and punish you when you don’t.
So, strive to surround yourself with good people and look beyond the superficial.
4. Compare Yourself To Who You Were Yesterday, Not To Who Someone Else Is Today
We all feel the need to compare ourselves to other people. Your brain restricts serotonin when your status in society is threatened and makes you look incompetent. This causes you to start doubting yourself and experience a low sense of self-worth.
The best way to prevent this from happening is to stop comparing yourself to who someone else is today. Instead, focus on comparing yourself to who you were yesterday.
5. Do Not Let Your Children Do Anything That Makes You Dislike Them
Parents have to ensure that their children can function well in society by instilling the appropriate rules. Guide your children to a better future and help them learn how overcome failure and pain.
Many parents want their children’s friendship above all else, and are willing to sacrifice respect to get it. Don’t do this.
6. Set Your House In Order Before You Criticize The World
Before you complain about the world or your situation, you need to start small and consider your own circumstances.
Ask yourself - Have you taken full advantage of the opportunities offered to you?
Have some humility. If you cannot bring peace to your household, then you are not equipped to rule a city.
7. Pursue What Is Meaningful (Not What Is Expedient)
Don’t put off those activities you know you should do in order to seek short-term gratification. Try to enjoy life as much as much as you can by pursuing something meaningful.
Pursuing meaning will help you be a better and happier person while also helping you deal with suffering.
8. Tell The Truth
You can use words to manipulate the world into delivering what you want. This includes lying to others and lying to yourself. But this approach doesn’t consider the negative impact.
You can choose two different paths through life. By speaking the truth, you will mature and become more responsible.
9. Assume The Person You Are Listening To Might Know Something You Don’t
Listen rather than judge - people will generally tell you everything they are thinking.
What you know now is not enough - your current knowledge is insufficient. If you believe every person can teach you something, you open yourself up to growth and learning in every encounter with another human being.
10. Be Precise In Your Speech
Whenever you plan to achieve something, you must be explicit and precise in your goals. Unclear goals can create unclear actions, which will then create unclear results.
Specificity lets you start challenging the chaos.
11. Do Not Bother Children When They Are Skateboarding
Parenting affects how children react to danger in the future. Pushing children away from activities like skateboarding or rock climbing to “safer” alternatives means children will struggle to face the dangers of the adult world.
12. Pet A Cat When You Encounter One On The Street
It’s easy to focus on the ugly parts of life. The easy option when you face a crisis is to become negative about everything. But this approach can be worse than the initial suffering.
Pay close attention to the love and beauty around you. This might be a sunset, flowers, or simply giving a cat a stroke.
Dwell on these positive moments when you can, because life is too short to suffer.
✍️ Top Quotes
“To stand up straight with your shoulders back is to accept the terrible responsibility of life, with eyes wide open. It means deciding to voluntarily transform the chaos of potential into the realities of habitable order. It means adopting the burden of self-conscious vulnerability, and accepting the end of the unconscious paradise of childhood, where finitude and mortality are only dimly comprehended. It means willingly undertaking the sacrifices necessary to generate a productive and meaningful reality (it means acting to please God, in the ancient language).”
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Thanks for summarizing his book. I tried reading it…badly needs editing. The key takeaways are good tho!